An "I" is Never "A"

 Loneliness! What's that?

It is something that kills a human being from the inside and makes him hollow, a person who is alive, but doesn't live, someone who is happy, but deep inside there is a storm.  Storm of thoughts, negativity and strong emotions. Life teaches zillion things every day. Some take it, some do not. I have met people saying "life is such a waste" some saying "life is nothing but a compromise" and then others saying "life is the most beautiful gift from god". It’s all about the experiences that one has had that make people to decide what's life for them? Isn't it?

In this Journey of Life, Someone not having any companions right from the childhood, No one to share the lunchbox with, Feeling unwanted, Often underestimated, Left ignored....

Life of an Introvert is never easy!

Someone who has forgotten to smile from ages!              Someone feeling insecure every passing moment!

Someone who is not enough loved!                                          Someone who can't count on anyone except god!

And some people make it even worst,

"He is so dumb"

“He never talks to anyone lives in his own zone”

“God knows what's wrong with these types of people”

“He has no friends because he is a BORE”

 “I have tried talking to him for a few times, he behaves weird”

 “Let's ask him for the evening's party! What! Oh c'mon are you sure you want to call an anti-social person for tonight's part? Forget it”

And not to forget the childhood,

Look at him; he is having his lunch sitting alone.

I guess he is suffering from some disease called silence, forget it "hamaara kyaa"?  

Hey what happened? Did you wet your pants? Hahaha…. 

Sitting alone in a classroom of more than 60 people of same-age for an introvert is tough. Why? Because he doesn’t has any friend. Yeah so called friends who do not even know what is he going through? So-called friends who tease him every moment on petty things, Still being a "Delicate-at-heart-person" he tolerates such things, In fact he often willingly try to be part of the group by offering them whatever help they might need, and cracking those idiotic jokes(often in vain) just to gain a little bit of attention from them.

The bottom line is he is suffering every moment from Humiliation, Fighting for Acceptance every second, Crying so bitterly on why he is treated like that. Cursing himself and often God for this treatment and such life

And this is not the thing of two-three days; it lasts as longer as years. So you might be wondering what happens to him? Yes you're right he 'dies'.

Yes that weak part of him 'dies' and the strong part takes 'birth'. He then starts living for his self; He then learns to accept things as they are, Starts living on his own terms and convictions. Of course it’s not as easy as it seems! In fact, it is as impossible as you thought in the first place! BUT how does this change occur?

It’s all time. It teaches you who you are. Shows how others are. It makes you the one you never thought you could ever be.

It takes you to the paths you had never seen before. All because of your past, all because of whatever you seen in your life? May be it was destined to happen? May you had some control over it which you didn't realized? Whatever it is!

I feel,

May be God choose people to fight in whom he already saw potentials of a 'winner', May be he knew they would come out of the TRAPS of life & its agonies with a smile on their faces in the end.

Two things that Introvert gets in a form of hard-earned-gifts are Strength & Confidence

Indeed, one cannot imagine how much Mental & Emotional strength has an introvert acquired! Thanks to those taunts, Thanks to those So-called Friends who underestimated him, and those days full of sheer abasement & indignity finally paid-off, Rejection worked the right way making him the person who is not easily domitable, who has learnt a skill of living life with the touch of Deep-thoughts and Ample of experience already in his Pockets!

Making his attitude "I-don't-give-a-damn-what-you-think-of-me"  that he always wished to obtain…

He is still in his own zone like before but this time with utmost comfort and content.

He is still avoiding parties and social gatherings as much as he can, not because he fear facing people but because his parties are bit different from others.

Just a cup of tea/coffee with someone in open-air could make him feel special. He turns lover of nature, Music, Little pleasures of life.

Watching small children playing from a balcony gives him smile. He has no more problems in watching movies in theatres alone. He usually strives to get some people of his-type who think like him and conversations turn him on. Majorly introverts become people's persons (Including me)

As they have seen life very closely, they have had their share in mental traumas, had that bitter taste of life's difficult situations. Eventually those negative things turned him positive!

Wait not just positive, but

Super-duper-ultra-bombastically positive 

He started searching himself within himself and he found many precious elements. He found he is gifted with a great vision. He started working on them in a way to become ‘WORTH’ and this task of meliorating him selves has yet not stopped. It will continue till he lives. He found that one string of 'faith' holding which he crossed so many rivers of Grief, Depression, Confusions, Instabilities and which not!

He signed the lifetime-contract with god for thinking optimistically. God in turn gave him the Magical-powers of giving this GIFT of hope to the ones who are on the verge of committing suicide, just because life has not treated them good, and the ones who are emotionally shattered. After helping these people he feels overwhelmed obviously because

The feeling of watching someone smiling and being happy is Out-of-this-World.

Moreover he feels when he provides someone a box of happiness he gets ten in return and that too gift-wrapped ;)

Even after decent no. of positive transformations in his personality, he feels unproductive. Hopefully this feeling stays because it actually helps him to remain devoid-of-pride and hungry for more successes & accomplishments.

In this Journey he learned to remain balanced-and-neutral. The most important benefit of this journey is that he recognized himself and now he doesn't change his opinions/thoughts in accordance with others conveniences. Instead he learnt to be steady. He feels 'sense-of-acceptance'  

From an 'impressionable' he has turned 'influential' not that he is rigid but not blind as well.

Right from the child an introvert has been fighting to get 'acceptance' and even now he is always eager to get accepted as he is. Of course in a balanced manner and not such desperation

Introverts (like me) are mostly in search of their Alter-ego. 

Moreover Introverts are also gifted with Inbuilt-generator-of happiness in their minds. Visualization skills that keeps them busy while others are cursing their fates!

If an introvert realizes his/her potentials instead of complaining-crying-cursing, He/she could win this world.

P.S:  This requires trust, faith in almighty, positive approach towards the self and great deal of Acceptance (of things, situations).

So this was the Journey of an Introvert who was crying amidst of people complaining about his loneliness & Emptiness who is now busy advising people how to make their lives better by changing their approach towards it. Who is now Endorsing ‘Positive-thinking' among almost everyone!

What a Journey!  A journey of transformation, a journey of realization, a journey of “SELF”

Truly an Introvert is never alone.

He can feel low, under-confident, and sad at times but he is never alone….

• Finally I wrote something about which I feel very strongly. There’s some kind of magic in words once you express them, they express you! They can never be in vain they always speak our feelings whether one understands or not!

Thanks for reading….
Love,
Jay..