A Bizarre Longing

Sometimes you just feel different. You want different and expect different as well and then all the way the same. But, at times you feel certain unusual craving inside you which doesn't easily settle, in my case it's the craving which will give me nothing in particular but I want to do it. I want to do it for the other person not for myself.  Strange! But I feel a bizarre longing to love someone. Love a friend or even a stranger, I don't care. A stranger! Yes, that's what is bizarre.

LOVE, not to be loved back, but just love, simply and purely. For my own satisfaction or may be to complete myself as a person. But is it just about myself?

How about the one receiving the amount of this love? Wouldn't that person feel good after learning that 'He is vital' for other person in this otherwise messed up world, where relations lose their desirability in a fleeting time.

Whatever! I just want to love someone. And loving in such a manner in which he is never loved before. I would want to make the one feel out of this world, and would like to acquaint him about him. I want to appreciate every ingredient with which he is made and be interested in every tiny thought that crosses his mind. I want to be an avid listener to his stories, and the one who delights in his happiness. I unfailingly want to be there for him whenever he needs me and otherwise.

Caressing his hair, and trying to get drift of his every emotion. Showing genuine interest in knowing about his dainty encounters. Keeping a track on every little detail that he might be concerned with and every single person he has to do something with. But most importantly, I want him to see himself through my eyes, I would want to manifest him the beauty with which he is designed, how diligently he is important to this world and me for that matter. I would want to unveil the colors of this world to see the smile on his face. I will never fail to remind him that he is special for me. Never will I leave a chance that he gets to see the blue in his life. I would be there with him in the meltdowns (If any) standing like a pillar abreast him, So that he stands upright.

I would cast aside all the judgments passed against him, and ignore all the negative eyes. Irrespective of how is that person is treated in public; he would get all the attention from me and some more. There would be no basis of this love, maybe that's why it seems special. I would not love him for how is he as a person, but rather for how I am?

I want to transport the one I love to an entirely different world, where he is respected and pampered for who he is.

I'm not sure of who I want to love, and why? But,

I want to love someone unflinchingly and wholeheartedly.

P.s - Call it love for a human-being or friendship straight from the heart or a chance to make (best) use of the resource; you are having in shed loads which apparently is 'love' in my case. Sharing is good, so why not share that? *Wink*

Thanks for reading,

LOVE,

Jay

THAT SOMETHING !

A wanderer moving here and there in pursuit of ‘Something’

Something that he is mad about, something that he yearns for from core of his heart

Something that he feels he lacks, something that he knows wouldn't be easily catered to him

Something that could make his life worth living again, something that could expunge all the doleful moments,

Something which seems so effortless, yet at times nothing seems to be more unattainable than it.

Something that could Rejuvenate, something that is air of fresh breathe,

Something that seems so soothing even from distance, something that appears Lifelike,

Something that would bring pangs of amazement and contentment altogether.

Why is that something so tough to reach to? Why it takes so much time-almost like a lifetime?

 - May be its Elegance & Beauty merit this wait? If this is the case I'm ready to wait for eternity.

And that "Something" for me is somebody’s “Genuine Regard” towards me.

Really. Caring has become a rare verb in today's life.

In whatever situation you are in, at every juncture of life, you expect one person to be with you who knows about you and you would want to share such a tremendously powerful bond with him/her that nobody else has ever shared. But these days, people seem not to be caring about other person's mood/feelings. All they care about is theirs. You are at the dance party with your friends, everybody seems to be enjoying with each other while you are standing in a corner feeling awkward because you don't know how to dance, nobody knows about you, even if they do, they don't bother to care about how you must be feeling there, but then comes someone who ask you for your bad mood and is genuinely interested in making you feel better. It feels better gradually, you are not dancing, that's fine if you don't know it, at least there is someone who is like you, who bothers for you, for who you matter, for who your loneliness is more important than their enjoyment.

The one who truly cares about the other person is hard to find. One who puts you before oneself, who takes care about your every mood-swing, your every emotion is important to that person, you could share every little thought that crosses your mind with that person without fearing the judgment. In crowd of infinite interesting and cheerful people, that person who makes out you're feeling low and need to be talked to. You become center of that person's life in every way possible, but at the same time you get the required space. Someone who sets an example of concern. Someone showing you 'YOU' with their eyes, if you underestimate yourself, that person defies that you're not capable. Your choice, your favorites, your mood, your wish, your best attributes, your EVERYTHING.

In case of fear, that person comes to squeeze your hand and tell you "It will be okay, I promise". In case when you have forgotten yourself, that person shows you, reminds you every little trace of you, so that you could gain back yourself. Your every gesture examiner, your expression reader, your inspiration, your  lucky-charm, the one who understands, the one who will lever leave like others did, the who will not judge, the one who will listen, the one who will become your smile, the one who will free you, the one who will love you.

THAT SOMETHING BECOMES YOUR EVERYTHING, THAT SOMEONE BECOMES YOUR WORLD.

 Thanks for reading,      

LOVE,

Jay

Let's Lead It

New Year, 2014. 

It feels it is just the week before I wrote my 2013 post. Time is that fast. 2013 ended on a good note, 2013 as I expected was the maintenance year for me where I had to remain balanced and patient in lot of things. And I feel I managed pretty well, 2013 was the year of lessons for me, a lot of them, I learnt some of them very smoothly but there were some which made me think profoundly challenging my thinking process at its very best. Some people came as friends and left as strangers again. Some are still with me. Talking about 2013 is talking about 'Patience' 'Composure' 'Solace' 'Fun' 'Night-outs' 'Happiness' 'Confidence'. Having said this, In November, there were times when I was harsh, rude to people. I lost my control, I became completely impatient and vulnerable. The month finished leaving a bitter taste into my head, and December was the most exciting month of the year, I never wanted it to end, it was dearest time to me so far.

There is this one thing I discovered in this year that changed a hell lot of my problems into solutions to my utter astonishment. I never knew the thing called 'HONESTY' works best and simplify things in long term. I adopted honesty and I'm glad I did.

2013, Yes! Not all the resolutions I made are successful, but some of them are! To my surprise, my perception changed for good when it comes to expecting things from people, patterns of my writing changed, I wrote most this year, I am fine with the things that can't be mine, I'm completely complacent with just what I have.

What's with 2014?

To complete some unfinished resolutions of year 2013 would be my first resolution this year. Besides, there have been changes into my thinking towards numerous things, and I love that evolvement of my mind which always prepares me for best and worst beforehand. My thinking at times acts as a protective case and I'm really happy with the system I possess (I'm not talking about my computer system here). So, this year also would be full of new resolutions.

Resolutions for this year:

Besides these, I would return calls to people ASAP and reply to their texts to the earliest.

Apart from resolutions, this year my prime focus would be 'Experimenting' experimenting on myself, experimenting on areas that I otherwise ignore, experimenting on some of the old rooted principles of mine just to make it work, if my dynamism enhances this way, I would be glad, besides getting different understanding of people is also something I want. I would try to listen more and step into the other person's shoes more often. I'm addicted to the feeling of sense of fulfillment, so I would do what I like, I would make a list of things that I want to do, and do every possible thing in this year that excites my senses and gets me satisfaction. I would practice forgiveness. I will let go of my sensitive behavior, so that I do not lose my patience soon. Also I would hunger more for knowledge of every kind, and work on my weak areas.

There is this instinctive feeling within me which tells me 'This year will be productive' if it turns reality, it will complete me as a person. I hope to do variety of activities this year.

And I promise to myself that I would be a better human being.

Let's hope for the best. I'm ready to be surprised by life again and waiting for the miracles as always. Let's have everything our way this year, let's drive our life scooter responsibly and take it through the paths of happiness and internal joy.

Wish you the very prolific year ahead.

Happy New Year.

LOVE,

Jay